Serendipity
Today I stumbled upon a very old journal entry from March of 2007. Five months before I even had the idea of moving to Las Vegas and five months before life as I knew it then, would change forever.
I believe in fate, spirits, the universe's amazing way of telling stories, and serendipity (the moment when something happens for no reason at all, by accident if you will, making life stand still).
In this journal entry from years ago, when I was still 20 years old, I had written my kind of love story; my dream love story to be exact. As I read, I realized in that exact moment that the love story I had written so many years ago, is the love story that I've been living for the past five years.
I wrote about finding a guy when I least expected or wanted it, how we met briefly and I thought I'd never see him again, how a week later I saw him again when I was supposed to meet up with friends, how we broke up briefly, and how we experienced all the highs and lows that most people go through.
And in the end, no matter all that we had gone through together and alone, this dream guy was the only guy who made me feel loved and who was the only guy I had ever loved so greatly.
Reading the words I had written about how I wanted to fall in love with the one guy who I knew would change everything, brought such joy and solidification to my heart. Everything I had written has come true. It actually happened!
I hadn't read that journal since I probably wrote it and there I was reading the story of my love before I even knew it.
It was truly one of the most amazing experiences I have ever felt. And all thanks to me wanting to clean the house today and throw away a bunch of junk I didn't need any longer.
You see, life happens to you when you least expect it. There are lots of hard times, in between times, glorious and magical times, and times when you realize that everything you've done in life has led up to the greatest gift anyone could ever receive; real love.
I'm not the perfect girlfriend or daughter, friend, or sister. I know that now. I used to try so hard to be perfect to those in my life I love the most. But then one day I figured out that the ones who really love me, love me for all that I am and all that I'm not. I can be hard to deal with. I can be stubborn, selfish, bossy, insecure, and neurotic. But even with my flaws, the best parts of me make me kind, loving, understanding, generous, funny, loyal, honest, and real.
Mr. F has been away for four days now out of the country. The anticipation of his arrival tomorrow has me feeling excited, anxious, and as if I'll be seeing him for the first time. I can't wait.
My mother will be visiting soon enough for the holidays and I am already counting down the days. By the time I see her in December, it will be one year since I last hugged her or held her hand. And I can't wait.
Tonight as I write, I feel like serendipity has played a huge part in my life. It just took me five years and by chance, flipping to a page of my real life love story, to discover just how real serendipity is. I can't explain in words how grateful I am. So, my goal is to write from here on out until Thanksgiving, something that I am grateful for each day.
Today on my loves birthday, I am grateful that a story I wrote out of dreams many years ago, came true. I am grateful that it took me until just now to see it. Sometimes, when you least expect it, life throws a miracle your way. It makes time stand still. And for me, it makes me feel so grateful that real love exists.
It doesn't have to be easy for it to be real and true. And I'm so grateful that my biggest and most cherished dream has happened to me, with a man I continue to love more every single day of my life. I'm grateful that dreams do come true, that real love happens to those who least expect it, and that all the shitty things in life can never take away the love you feel in your heart for those who've been by your side through it all.
Peace. Joy. That's all I feel tonight. And I'm whole.
I believe in fate, spirits, the universe's amazing way of telling stories, and serendipity (the moment when something happens for no reason at all, by accident if you will, making life stand still).
In this journal entry from years ago, when I was still 20 years old, I had written my kind of love story; my dream love story to be exact. As I read, I realized in that exact moment that the love story I had written so many years ago, is the love story that I've been living for the past five years.
I wrote about finding a guy when I least expected or wanted it, how we met briefly and I thought I'd never see him again, how a week later I saw him again when I was supposed to meet up with friends, how we broke up briefly, and how we experienced all the highs and lows that most people go through.
And in the end, no matter all that we had gone through together and alone, this dream guy was the only guy who made me feel loved and who was the only guy I had ever loved so greatly.
Reading the words I had written about how I wanted to fall in love with the one guy who I knew would change everything, brought such joy and solidification to my heart. Everything I had written has come true. It actually happened!
I hadn't read that journal since I probably wrote it and there I was reading the story of my love before I even knew it.
It was truly one of the most amazing experiences I have ever felt. And all thanks to me wanting to clean the house today and throw away a bunch of junk I didn't need any longer.
You see, life happens to you when you least expect it. There are lots of hard times, in between times, glorious and magical times, and times when you realize that everything you've done in life has led up to the greatest gift anyone could ever receive; real love.
I'm not the perfect girlfriend or daughter, friend, or sister. I know that now. I used to try so hard to be perfect to those in my life I love the most. But then one day I figured out that the ones who really love me, love me for all that I am and all that I'm not. I can be hard to deal with. I can be stubborn, selfish, bossy, insecure, and neurotic. But even with my flaws, the best parts of me make me kind, loving, understanding, generous, funny, loyal, honest, and real.
Mr. F has been away for four days now out of the country. The anticipation of his arrival tomorrow has me feeling excited, anxious, and as if I'll be seeing him for the first time. I can't wait.
My mother will be visiting soon enough for the holidays and I am already counting down the days. By the time I see her in December, it will be one year since I last hugged her or held her hand. And I can't wait.
Tonight as I write, I feel like serendipity has played a huge part in my life. It just took me five years and by chance, flipping to a page of my real life love story, to discover just how real serendipity is. I can't explain in words how grateful I am. So, my goal is to write from here on out until Thanksgiving, something that I am grateful for each day.
Today on my loves birthday, I am grateful that a story I wrote out of dreams many years ago, came true. I am grateful that it took me until just now to see it. Sometimes, when you least expect it, life throws a miracle your way. It makes time stand still. And for me, it makes me feel so grateful that real love exists.
It doesn't have to be easy for it to be real and true. And I'm so grateful that my biggest and most cherished dream has happened to me, with a man I continue to love more every single day of my life. I'm grateful that dreams do come true, that real love happens to those who least expect it, and that all the shitty things in life can never take away the love you feel in your heart for those who've been by your side through it all.
Peace. Joy. That's all I feel tonight. And I'm whole.
Love it Kim!! I can't wait to see you, hug you and spend time together. It's been a very long time.
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