November Thanks: The One's We've Lost

November 20, 2012

November Thanks: The One's We've Lost

Tonight's post is in honor of the ones I've lost along the way and the important fact that them being in my life, is one of the most important reasons why I'm so thankful.

Thanksgiving is just two days away and I'm determined to write a post from now until then, no matter how busy or tired I may be. Tonight I can't help but feel so overcome with gratitude for the angels in my life who are no longer present on earth.

The ones who may not have been in my life for as long as I had hoped for, but the ones who regardless of that fact, impacted my life in more ways than I could've ever imagined. Death is never easy and during the holidays when you wish the ones you've lost could be there, it can bring back certain emotions and feelings that never feel good.

But in my 26 years, I've lost so many people than I can count. And with each one I feel that in my heart, my strength builds up. It's not to say that losing the people I've loved was easy, because it obviously wasn't, but it is to say that their passings have helped me to appreciate my life and the people I love so much more.

My grandma was one of my greatest joys. Although she could be stubborn and straight to the point, she made me laugh like there was no tomorrow. I enjoy the fact that I was lucky enough to get to live with her and my grandpa most of my life and I miss seeing her in her favorite recliner watching her favorite soap operas. I miss the smell of her beans cooking in the crock pot almost every other day and I miss her laugh. She had a great one.

But after her and my grandfather passed away in 2005 and 2006, a part of me changed in the best ways possible. Through them I was able to learn how to forgive and let go of certain things that were detrimental to my life. And through watching them grow throughout my life, I learned that I too, had that ability in my genetic makeup.

I'm thankful that I got to spend some of my grandpa's last days with him and that I was able to make peace and say goodbye. And I'm thankful that they were both there throughout my life for all the special moments in my life. They were the very best and though I miss them dearly, they are never forgotten.

My cousin Randy who passed away almost two years ago, was the life of every party. With one of the best smiles in the world and a charm that could make any bad day turn into joy, he was unlike many. I remember every memory I was able to share with him, how he was always daring and brave to try new things (like diving into a one foot pool from a chair at the age of two), and how he always knew how to make you feel loved. And of all the things my Randall Scott Jr. was to me, he was a true inspiration. A vision in real life and after his life, on how to live the right way, how to be fearless and carefree, and how to love like there's no tomorrow.

There are many things that I am thankful for in this one beautiful life of mine, but I am so deeply thankful that these three people were a part of my life for as long as they were. Thinking of them does not make me feel as sad as it used to. And I chalk all of that up to the fact that they give me peace here on earth and that they changed me for the better. Though they are no longer here in human form, I believe with all my heart that they guide me and my huge family, wherever we go.

To Grandma Elida, Grandpa Pete, and Randall Scott Jr., the very best angels a girl could ever ask for. I love you now and for always. Thank you for loving me and thank you for being in my life.