The Right Now
"The mind that is anxious about future events, is miserable."- Seneca
I don't know what will become of my life. I don't know where I'll be years from now, who I'll end up with, if that, or what my job will be. I don't know these things, because each day that I get the opportunity to live my life again, I do my best to live it in the right NOW.
It's
not to say that I don't have hopes or dreams for the future, because I
obviously do. Rather, it's simply to say that I don't know what my
future will be, because my future is now. I have spent plenty of enough time being anxious about my future and trying to plan it out, that my present has almost passed me by.
Right now, in this very moment, I have a family. A mother, a brother and a sister. They bring happiness to my life. They make me smile and make me laugh, piss me off and have my back. I love them. Do I hope to have more time with them in the future? Of course. But in reality, I know that all I have is this moment to love them. I accept that. I treasure that. I won't forget that, ever.
I also am fortunate enough
to have an imperfect kind of love, with a man who happens to be my best
friend. We disagree. We're different. We annoy each other. But, those
imperfections allow real love to shine through even in the worst of
times. He makes me happy everyday, even when it's hard. He makes me
laugh till my stomach aches, yet knows when to be brave and be honest
with me.
These four people all share this one simple (but sometimes incredibly hard thing for most people to do) act of kindness; honesty. They are my right now.
Does their honesty always make me feel peachy and lovely? Nope. But does their honesty make me feel loved, even when my ego is trying to tell me the opposite? Absolutely!
There in lies the truth, in the blunt, sincere, sometimes upsetting voice, of those who love me most. "Aha," I say!! Now that's love!!
We spend almost every waking moment, thinking of all the things we need to do, places we need to get to, things we don't have. Of all the things we think of, more than half of them tend to be negative. The evil darkness of negativity shines his grim light upon us all, and we succumb to "woe is me," syndrome. "Boo hoo, my life sucks," we all say, easily forgetting how detrimental our own negativity makes everything else negative around us.
I, by no means whatsoever, am an expert in life and all
things that exist. If I were, than heck, I'd never make up any problems
for myself. But here's the thing, the truth from a woman who is
still growing and still learning; IT'S OKAY NOT TO HAVE ALL THE
ANSWERS!! Breathe that in and repeat, because IT IS OKAY!
Those who know me best, know me in all my forms and still somehow manage to love me. It takes courage and strength, will power and dedication, to truly love someone for who they are, even the things you may not like.
That's usually where the confusion begins for some. They say, " He should love me, even if I am obsessive, controlling, stalking him and incredibly psychotic," or "She should still love me, even if I do hit her from time to time, it only happens when I'm drunk." Don't misconstrue these bad things for the others.
When I talk about really loving someone, even with the bad, what I mean is, learning how to accept them for who they are, whether it be that they talk entirely way too much and you're quiet, or their messy and you're not. Or their insecure and you're strong. The things people often think they absolutely can't live with, like leaving dirty clothes on the floor or saying the wrong things sometimes, are things that make humans, well, human.
That is when most people give up. But in all actuality, those who are strong and brave enough to face the highs with the deepest of lows, are helping the not so strong, overcome. They are showing what real love looks and feels like, to those who need it most. In some ways I'd say, they are saving others and I truly believe that they are.
I'll be 26 in a little more than a month. I'm excited. I love getting older. I love growing up. Is it easy? Never. But when has life ever been easy? Am I still learning? Always. I don't know if those four people know, that the ways in which they love me, give me hope. They help me everyday to be stronger, confident, wiser, independent, and more accepting. They save my life every chance they can and they do it without even knowing.
And that's what I hope to give to them. It hasn't always been easy to love me, but I'm so out-of-this-world lucky, to be loved by them. And let's be honest...if there is one thing besides writing that I enjoy most in this world, it's love. I love deeply and for those who help me, I no longer fear their loss. I know throughout everything, that I have loved and been loved, with the greatest force imaginable.
"I'm lucky as hell," I say to myself more than twice a day. And I am. Lucky as hell!
Today, let go of your expectations little by little. Let people in. Let yourself be loved, even if that is what scares you the most. And, if the opportunity presents itself, listen to those needing to be saved. Help them. Don't give up. The reward will be worth it!
I don't know what will become of my life. I don't know where I'll be years from now, who I'll end up with, if that, or what my job will be. I don't know these things, because each day that I get the opportunity to live my life again, I do my best to live it in the right NOW.
 |
| Nothing! (credit: weheartit.com) |
Right now, in this very moment, I have a family. A mother, a brother and a sister. They bring happiness to my life. They make me smile and make me laugh, piss me off and have my back. I love them. Do I hope to have more time with them in the future? Of course. But in reality, I know that all I have is this moment to love them. I accept that. I treasure that. I won't forget that, ever.
 |
| Motherly love. |
 |
| Brother and Sisters. |
These four people all share this one simple (but sometimes incredibly hard thing for most people to do) act of kindness; honesty. They are my right now.
Does their honesty always make me feel peachy and lovely? Nope. But does their honesty make me feel loved, even when my ego is trying to tell me the opposite? Absolutely!
There in lies the truth, in the blunt, sincere, sometimes upsetting voice, of those who love me most. "Aha," I say!! Now that's love!!
We spend almost every waking moment, thinking of all the things we need to do, places we need to get to, things we don't have. Of all the things we think of, more than half of them tend to be negative. The evil darkness of negativity shines his grim light upon us all, and we succumb to "woe is me," syndrome. "Boo hoo, my life sucks," we all say, easily forgetting how detrimental our own negativity makes everything else negative around us.
 |
| Remind yourself of this! (credit: weheartit.com) |
Those who know me best, know me in all my forms and still somehow manage to love me. It takes courage and strength, will power and dedication, to truly love someone for who they are, even the things you may not like.
That's usually where the confusion begins for some. They say, " He should love me, even if I am obsessive, controlling, stalking him and incredibly psychotic," or "She should still love me, even if I do hit her from time to time, it only happens when I'm drunk." Don't misconstrue these bad things for the others.
When I talk about really loving someone, even with the bad, what I mean is, learning how to accept them for who they are, whether it be that they talk entirely way too much and you're quiet, or their messy and you're not. Or their insecure and you're strong. The things people often think they absolutely can't live with, like leaving dirty clothes on the floor or saying the wrong things sometimes, are things that make humans, well, human.
That is when most people give up. But in all actuality, those who are strong and brave enough to face the highs with the deepest of lows, are helping the not so strong, overcome. They are showing what real love looks and feels like, to those who need it most. In some ways I'd say, they are saving others and I truly believe that they are.
I'll be 26 in a little more than a month. I'm excited. I love getting older. I love growing up. Is it easy? Never. But when has life ever been easy? Am I still learning? Always. I don't know if those four people know, that the ways in which they love me, give me hope. They help me everyday to be stronger, confident, wiser, independent, and more accepting. They save my life every chance they can and they do it without even knowing.
And that's what I hope to give to them. It hasn't always been easy to love me, but I'm so out-of-this-world lucky, to be loved by them. And let's be honest...if there is one thing besides writing that I enjoy most in this world, it's love. I love deeply and for those who help me, I no longer fear their loss. I know throughout everything, that I have loved and been loved, with the greatest force imaginable.
"I'm lucky as hell," I say to myself more than twice a day. And I am. Lucky as hell!
Today, let go of your expectations little by little. Let people in. Let yourself be loved, even if that is what scares you the most. And, if the opportunity presents itself, listen to those needing to be saved. Help them. Don't give up. The reward will be worth it!
Everyone and anyone who knows you are truly blessed to be loved by you.
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