Gratitude Monday

I don't know everything about life and love. I admit that with real perspective. But, I am incredibly grateful for the love and life I have had for the past 25 years. I don't know when I will ever say, "Ok, I'm a grown up now," but that's ok with me. I think, like I've said a billion times over, that we never stop growing, we only mature. Right now I am in a place where I am allowing myself, for the honest to God, very first time in my life, to fall. I'm finally, after too many years and tears to count, surrendering to the truth about life; that it doesn't last forever. I am not afraid to shy away from the fact that I have made my life harder on myself and others, by worrying too much, fearing too much and thinking way too much. Although these emotions and feelings are normal, when you allow them to consume your real identity, where do you go from there? Fortunately however, I have people who really love me. People who really kick my ass and are never afraid to speak the truth, even if it hurts my heart. What I am really figuring out, right now, today, is that I have more power than I have ever given myself credit for. We all do really. We all, when we can be present, have more power than we know. On this beautiful Monday, I express gratitude to myself, for sticking through every hard time, self-created or not, and never giving up. I love, God how I love, the life I have. I love today, myself and all my eccentricities, good and bad. I've slowly, much like a snail traveling to somewhere very far, but surely, have surrendered to my life. I don't want to waste it. I don't want to give up on it, ever! I want to live and love, and I will and I am. I know that life will end for me and for those I love. I nor anyone, can prevent that. I know I will lose a lot of things as I age, but that's what life is about. I officially accept everything that has played out in my life. Though it's been extremely difficult, I surrender to the beauty that I have. I never want to forget it. I never want to waste time again, in fear of time running out. A lesson I've learned through many I love, is that loving yourself and making yourself happy first, is the essential key to living a happy life. When you can be happy with yourself, others' happiness is bound to flourish. Happiness creates more happiness. Today, in the midst of my ever growing self, I feel free and light for the first time, in a very long time. I feel capable and courageous and ready to live. Real, honest, hard, glorious living. I am happy. And I am strong. Be grateful for even the hard times, for it's always in those moments when you feel like giving up, that life surprised you and you hold on even tighter. I hold on, with all my might, freely!