Brave

"Come with me where dreams are born, and time is never planned."  Peter Pan 

Being brave has been a phrase I have always struggled to understand.  What makes someone brave without people labeling them as such?  Are we brave once we ourselves, believe in our own bravery, or are we brave because people think we are?  Much can be said about this and I'm sure there are some who have their opinions on what constitutes true fearlessness.  Is it the soldier, battling for his country or the single mother, teaching her children to never give up?  Is it the college student, who takes a three hour bus ride to get to school, has massive student loans, works full-time, and never misses a day of class?  Or is it the individual, who finally admits their truth to the world and no longer cares what people think?

For me, I believe that all of the people mentioned above are brave but I also believe that it doesn't take doing the aforementioned, in order to have bravery.  When I look back, very briefly, on the moments of my life it hits me that I was born to be a warrior.   Some may look at me and disagree, thinking that my flaws, weaknesses, shortfalls, and mistakes, make me anything but.  After 30 years of trying to impress people and make sure that their happiness and their approval came before my own, I've concluded that no one can determine whether or not I have courage, other than myself.  

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I have been hit by many of life's curveballs and have definitely stumbled down one too many steps, but none of that matters because I believe in myself.  When we are truly brave enough to see all of the glory we possess, life opens up amazing doors and possibilities.  We just have to be willing and patient enough for those doors to open.  We also have to work our asses off because nothing in life comes free.  It's truly incredible to look at myself now, as a woman who is not only smarter and stronger, but also as a woman who has taken all of her mistakes and uses them for the better.  I have and never will be perfect, and the incredible thing is-I no longer want to be.  

This week has been nothing short of crazy, beautiful, fun, and amazing.  I have been on three interviews so far and the one I had yesterday, went incredibly well.  The past two months have been wonderful teachers and I am now immensely grateful for what June and July were.  Although I don't necessarily believe in horoscopes, I read mine for this month.  Here's hoping that for once in my life it is true.  So far, so good, and although I know it is all purely coincidental, I like the odds in it.  I hope that by next week, news of a job will come to fruition and life will begin again with a whole new adventure.  Change-it has quickly become one of my most favorite things.  With a strong mind and a brave heart, I know I can conquer anything.

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Everyone has their own story and it is the story we choose to tell ourselves, that ultimately defines who we are.  If our story sucks, then we will always feel less than.  But if our story rocks and does not sugarcoat the shitty things that happen, the chances of our success will always be much higher.  I decided two months ago that the story I was telling for all my life, was a story that did nothing good for my soul.  And because of that I was stuck.  I had to look inside all of the mess to finally admit and accept my own role in some of the shit.  Once I did, I erased the old story and began a new one.  And I have never been happier in all my life. 

A blank slate, one moment, one look, and everything has changed for the better.  Nothing is ever easy and nothing ever should be.  It is the fight, the passion, the courageousness it takes to make the impossible, possible, that breaks down the barriers and sets our hearts on fire.  I am so ready for the challenge.  It is the best challenge I've ever known. 

To all the brave,

Kim

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