Writing Challenge: Rewriting a Fairytale

Every Wednesday I will do a writing challenge based on 365 Writing Prompts I found on Pinterest, of course.  Of all social media, Pinterest is hands down, my favorite.   Any way..the prompt for tonight's post is to rewrite a fairytale by giving it a new ending or a more modern version.  So, I've chosen to rewrite Cinderella, one of my most favorite fairy tales of all.

Via Pinterest

Here it goes.  It might contain a few curse words.  Oops.

Some years ago, in a faraway land called Chancla, lived a girl and her father.  The girl had long brown hair, the biggest and most beautiful brown eyes, and her name was Cinderella, or Ella for short. 

Her father was her everything, since her mother abandoned them both when she was only an infant.  Together they lived in this beautiful cottage, decked with wooden floors and fireplaces, and the most stunning views of the trees that surrounded them.

After a few years, her father met another woman by the name of Bertha, this hideous creature of a woman, who had two other hideous twin daughters named Gertrude and Helga.  Shortly thereafter, Bertha lied to Cinderella's father about being pregnant and thus, tricked him into marrying her.

Of course once Ella's father found out that Bertha was in fact, not pregnant, he rode off on his horse with fury in his heart.  Unfortunately on his path of clear thinking, a snake in the middle of the dirt road, scared the horse so badly that he kicked Ella's father off and he died instantly when he fell on a rock.

This sucked majorly.

So, sadly Ella's father passes away and the ugly bitches take over the house her and her father had made, turning Cinderella into a maid.  She had to scrub their calluses from their feet, pop their pimples whenever they occurred, brush their teeth, and of course, clean and cook.

Despite these evil women, Cinderella was loved by all who came in her view.  The animals flocked to her kindness and grace, and she turned them all into her greatest friends.

One day, news came that the most eligible bachelor in all the land, some billionaire named Rex, was hosting the biggest ball in order to find his dream bride.  Things moved incredibly fast in this land, obviously.

Cinderella had grown up with Rex at one point, as they both attended the same elementary school for the first five years.  When they went their separate ways, they forgot about each other and never once thought that they would ever run into each other again.

Anyway, Cinderella really wanted to go to this ball and gathered all her tools and animal buds to help her make a dream dress.

Of course the evil Bertha and her daughters caught wind of Cinderella's plan and ruined her handmade dress by spilling some red wine on it and then tearing it to shreds.  They were assholes.  The biggest and nastiest assholes in all the land. 

Overcome with distraught and pain, Ella ran into the gazebo and cried her beautiful face off, until something crazy happened.  All of a sudden this crazy woman from the middle of nowhere appeared, with a beautiful gown made by Oscar de la Renta and a pair of Christian Louboutin's that sparkled in the night sky.

She told Cinderella she was her fairy godmother and Ella believed her, because why not?  She whistled for the carriage to come around and helped Ella in, telling her to have the most fabulous time.  There was only one catch however, which was that Cinderella had to be home by midnight because all the fancy things she was wearing had to be returned. 

So, off to the ball she went, where she danced and kissed with the boy she once knew.  When the clock struck 12, she ran as fast as she could to the carriage and made it just in time. 

Rex had no idea why she ran away and when Cinderella made it back home, her evil step family was waiting, pissed beyond belief.  They cursed her and pulled her hair, talked down to her and made her cry.  But then something amazing happened and before she knew what she was doing, she slapped the shit out of all three women.

Suffice to say, they backed off and for the very first time in her life, Ella finally felt strong.  She told them how awful they were, but that she only pitied them, then she made them leave the house once and for all, without any transportation, money, or items from the home.

Then Rex showed up and they kissed, agreed to go on a date, and then fell quickly in love.  Sadly, he wasn't such a prince after all and Cinderella dumped his ass.

A few years later, Cinderella met her true prince and they dated for a long time like most normal people.  When they actually knew each other and how to communicate like a healthy couple, they married and lived happily for as long as time granted. 

The End.