Sacrifices.
There comes a time in life where you have to make a sacrifice for the well being of your soul, to help someone you love, to move forward, or simply to let go of old habits that disrupt your journey.
Looking at my life in its entirety, I'm sure there were moments where I sacrificed something just to please someone else, but never to better myself. I can be selfish and stubborn, not always the greatest listener, and a little bit of an attention whore from time to time. But what I am feeling now is stronger and more powerful than anything I have ever felt before. I want to make the sacrifices needed to not only better myself, but let go.
For too many years than I'd like to admit, I've been talking about how much I need to do this or that, or let go of this or that; and I haven't done shit about it. All I've done is continue to stay stuck where I don't and have never belonged; a hole that never helps me but only brings me down.
Of course I , like everyone else in the world, gets insecure or down in the dumps. But instead of letting certain setbacks teach me the lesson they are there to teach, I analyze every piece of them until I am not only exhausted, but mentally tired as hell.
In order to sacrifice something you have to be willing to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Meaning, letting go of old ways of thinking or habits, makes me feel scared and uneasy, because I am so used to being that way. A long time ago I told myself that that was who I was, without really thinking of my flaws as just that; flaws.
I got completely wrapped up in "trying" to be something all the time, that now at 28, I am not only mentally drained, but over giving a shit about most things. I care about the things that matter, the people in my life, the love and friendships, and the constant reminder that I am stronger than I'll ever believe.
But, after much pitying myself and being a brat, I know that I can't give a shit about most things in life, the events, the actions, and the behaviors of others. I am fully blessed with the people already in my life and I don't "need" to be this ideal image of who I want to be, in order for myself to love who I am.
I sacrifice things that will only benefit me and the ones I love, no matter how hard the sacrifice may be in that moment.
Tonight I celebrate just being alive and the fact that I truly do not have to do it all to make others happy and myself happy. I can't be Superwoman, I just can't, and I sacrifice that idea and thought, so that I can live in the moments a whole lot more.
I am loved already. I am truly accepted. I am worth it and I am deserving. And above all, I am truly enough!
Looking at my life in its entirety, I'm sure there were moments where I sacrificed something just to please someone else, but never to better myself. I can be selfish and stubborn, not always the greatest listener, and a little bit of an attention whore from time to time. But what I am feeling now is stronger and more powerful than anything I have ever felt before. I want to make the sacrifices needed to not only better myself, but let go.
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Of course I , like everyone else in the world, gets insecure or down in the dumps. But instead of letting certain setbacks teach me the lesson they are there to teach, I analyze every piece of them until I am not only exhausted, but mentally tired as hell.
In order to sacrifice something you have to be willing to get comfortable with the uncomfortable. Meaning, letting go of old ways of thinking or habits, makes me feel scared and uneasy, because I am so used to being that way. A long time ago I told myself that that was who I was, without really thinking of my flaws as just that; flaws.
I got completely wrapped up in "trying" to be something all the time, that now at 28, I am not only mentally drained, but over giving a shit about most things. I care about the things that matter, the people in my life, the love and friendships, and the constant reminder that I am stronger than I'll ever believe.
But, after much pitying myself and being a brat, I know that I can't give a shit about most things in life, the events, the actions, and the behaviors of others. I am fully blessed with the people already in my life and I don't "need" to be this ideal image of who I want to be, in order for myself to love who I am.
I sacrifice things that will only benefit me and the ones I love, no matter how hard the sacrifice may be in that moment.
Tonight I celebrate just being alive and the fact that I truly do not have to do it all to make others happy and myself happy. I can't be Superwoman, I just can't, and I sacrifice that idea and thought, so that I can live in the moments a whole lot more.
I am loved already. I am truly accepted. I am worth it and I am deserving. And above all, I am truly enough!
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