The glories of Halloween

Ever since I was a young girl growing up in the hill country of Texas, I have been in love and fascinated by Halloween.  In all actuality, everything about the last three months of every year bring me the greatest joy, peace and relaxation year round.

It's not to say that I don't enjoy life during the whole year, it's just always been in my blood..being a fall/winter kind of gal.  It's the happiest time of my years and when the best memories always seem to present themselves.

And the weather.  Oh the weather!  I could write novels on how much I adore the weather this time of year.  

It's like in my most favorite novel of all time, The Great Gatsby.  "Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall."  So true to my life and soul.  

Halloween is that time of the year when you can feel like a kid all over again.  Whether or not you dress up or if all you do is hand out candy, taking part in the tradition of this festive season always seems to bring a huge smile to my face. 

As the year winds down, I feel as though I have a stronger appreciation for all that I have and all that I don't.  Since this blog is about my path to growing up, I have to be honest with you the readers:  I WILL ALWAYS BE GROWING UP!  It never stops, this whole growing up thing.  And with all the honesty in the world, it only gets better with each year and every day.

Sure life can be hard, but isn't that something everyone has known for heck, forever now?  Instead of dwelling and focusing on all the things that suck about life or all the things you wish you'd have but don't, why not change that way of thinking into appreciating all that is GREAT in your life?

Since I was probably nine years old I've been struggling with insecurities, trying to fit in, trying to make everyone around me happy, caring way too much about what others thought of me, and trying to fit a mold that I knew deep in my heart was not a mold for me to fit.  I feared life.  I feared love.  And I feared more than anything, loss.  

But as I've aged and grown up some, I've come to find that the little things like decorating my house for Halloween, watching scary movies, talking to my cousin Hector about ghosts, and simply sitting on the couch with my most favorite guy to watch our shows, are the things that matter most and make me happiest.

I know, I know...it isn't that easy and it's not like that for everyone or even many.  But for me at least, I truly believe that learning how to appreciate the little things in life make life that much better.  As easy as it is to tell yourself all the negative things in life or all the things that could go wrong in your life, it's truly that easy to tell yourself the truth; to feed yourself with positive affirmations that are true to who you are and your life.  When we expect too much in return, it's a recipe for disaster.  I think Shakespeare said something to that nature once before and he was right.

Today I focus on the things around me that matter, such as getting a new day to live, falling asleep next to my boyfriend, having a job (whether or not it's my ideal job), having a roof over my head, and water to drink.  

And what I love most about this time of year.  It makes me stop in my tracks and never ending thinking mind.  It slows me down, keeps me balanced, helps me relax more, and teaches me the beauty of taking it all in.

Life will always be too short.  I've lost too many people in my life to know that that saying is so true.

So be happy with what you have.  If you aren't and it's that bad, change it.  If you can't, let it go.  Of all the things I've learned on this path to growing up, the biggest lesson I've learned is what to hold on to and what to let go of.  It's taken me years to get that.

So tonight I hold on to this:

The love I've found in a man I never believed could exist 

Family

Real, true, and honest great friends

Dog love

My passion for writing

My dream of opening my own store someday

Faith

Courage

Confidence

Love of myself

Joy

Life

And the belief that all my dreams are coming true 

And I let go of this:

Fear

Loss

Worry

Stress

Anxiety

Insecurity

The unknown

Not having all the answers

Rejection

Trying too hard

Criticism

And caring about what others think of me and my life

It is these memories that last a lifetime and make me feel like I've been living the best possible life, for quite some time now.  This life that I live, is my greatest accomplishment thus far and will continue to be until it ends.  Something I guess I've learned along the way!

Happy soon-to-be Halloween!!