Life as I know It

"The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development.  I used to say "If you will take care of me, I will take care of you."  Now I say, "I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me."  -Jim Rohn

I read a blog the other day that truly inspired me as a woman and as a human being. It focused on being a woman and being confident, no matter what.  After I read it, and cried like a baby, I felt whole.  For the first time in what has seemed like forever, I felt like me again.  And I loved every minute.  Tonight as I sit outside, the cool breeze of the desert air, overpowers me and I feel magical.  The weather is finally cooling down and I cannot even begin to explain how beautiful it is, and how wonderful it feels on my skin.  I have had a very tough year, one in which has been all about changes and growth.  As much as I would like to admit that the growth and change of my life excited me, I now know, that what it really did, was scare the bejeezus out of me.  Some people are open to change and embrace it for whatever it brings.  And others, such as myself, fear it, for all that it could bring.  I didn't know how to handle all the ups and downs of my life, the major changes that were taking place, although wonderful, and I didn't know how to deal with them all and accept it.  

Sometimes it takes a real scare, a real dead end in the road, to realize what life is truly all about. 

Life as I know it....is about Hope. Trust. Faith. Belief. Love. Honesty. Growth. Acceptance. Attitude. Change. Confidence. Happiness. Positivity. Embrace. And above all Fearlessness. When we fear life, we fear everything. We cannot live in fear, for fear only brings about everything that people don't want...fear!!! We cannot live is insecurity or the fact that our weight may not be ideal at a certain point in time.  For insecurity only brings out the negative, and we all know that the negative, always tries to outweigh the positive. We cannot live in the past or even the future, for both, are never in the present, and living in either or, only makes the present, that much harder to live in. We cannot live in doubt or worry as well, for both coincide with fear and negativity and insecurity, and we all should know by now.....that all of these...SUCK majorly.  

I find that I lived in all of that for so long and I literally asked myself the other night, "What good has that brought to my life?  Me as a person? My relationships? My faith?"  And the answer to all of those questions, was nothing.  Nothing at all.  I am happy in life and I am in love.  But, I want to be happy and in love with myself as well.  When I can truly be, I know that every worry, every fear, every insecurity, won't ever be a problem.  I look forward to that and live in today, knowing that I am one step closer to accepting me for me, good and bad. I guess we all have those years, or months., where we are truly tested.  Where we must make a choice, to better our lives.  And I have made mine.  And I am content with it.  And I am happy with it.  And I am better because of it.

I am truly lucky to have amazing people in my life and I thank them all for being by my side through such difficult times.  I must say, before I go, that if any girl out there, finds a man who never gives up on her, one who loves her in spite of all that drives him crazy, hold on.  Hold on tight. And never let go.  Realize before it's too late, that he loves you for you and embrace it.  I embrace my man and his gift that he has given me.  I look forward to our future together and believe with all my heart, that life will only get better,from here on out.  The beauty of life is that we can never know what it will bring us.  And Life as I know It....is realizing that the unknown is perfectly okay.