Feeling It...

Last night the rain poured down and swept the desert city whole.  It was the first time, in a long time, that I felt and saw real rain.  The first time in forever that I could actually smell the lasting scent of rain, linger on.  It was magical. I am above all, one happy girl.  I never thought you could miss someone so much, who you are always with...but, tonight, as I stare deep into the dark eyes of my dog, his dog, I feel him and I miss him so.  But, nonetheless, I have been using my alone time to really make the most of things I normally, NEVER do. Such as, finish my painting, being a bum, going out to dinner and Target with one of my bestest pals, and listening to my music ever so loudly.  It's to say the least, wonderfully soothing. 

Life is beginning to become this wondrous gift that I just can't get enough of.  I have some of the greatest friends on Earth, and I can count them all on one hand.  I used to think that I needed several friends to make me feel like I belonged, or that I was cared for.  I quickly learned over the years, that the greatest friends are the ones who stick by you through thick and thin, and much like a marriage, are there for you through good and bad.  I feel blessed and lucky to have those friends, the ones who truly mean more to me than they will ever know, and the ones who, even if they live thousands of miles away, never lose sight of what real friendship is all about. To those friends, you know who you are, and I thank you, for truly bringing me back to life, on more than one occasion.

My family comes in two months, to spend Christmas with me, for the first time in three years.  And all I can do, is count down the days.  It's going to be blissful and I feel them now, right next to me.  I can hear their laughs, see their faces, and I cannot wait to be in their presence.  I can honestly say, that Christmas may be the best by far, this year, and I am looking forward to every minute.  God is good and man oh man how he has blessed my life!

Andrew comes back from London in three days, and it really feels like time has gone by so fast already since he left.  Time apart really does help to realize all the little things I take for granted and not being able to communicate with him at all, is truly making me stronger.  I guess there are moments in everyone's life, where we all must learn and accept growth.  I am embracing my growth and all that it has to offer me.  I live for the moments when I get to hug those I love soon, and I take it all in.  I feel love all around me, no matter how far they are all from me! And I smile, knowing that I am loved and that God is the most incredible force on Earth.

As I lay myself down to sleep tonight, I am happy.  And I am thankful for everything I had to go through, to get me right where I am tonight!!

What makes you stronger?  And how do you know when life is just how it should be? I know now, those answers and I want to know.....what got you where you are today?