Sundays and Life!

Sundays are always bittersweet.  I know that it is my last day of free relaxation before the workweek starts and I'm back to being a busy bee.  However, I must admit that I actually love all days of the week, because it means that I'm alive.

I always use my Sundays as a day of reflection.  I go over the past week and what I accomplished and I typically lay low and relax like it's going out of style.  Today is no different.  I reflected on my life and the abundance of it, while outside enjoying the beautiful day.  I could feel the wind on my skin and feel the sun wrap its arms around me just slightly enough to keep me warm, but comfortable at the same time.

Earlier in the day I was thinking too much about what I want to do and have to do, and blah blah blah, that I forgot how beautiful the day was.  After a brief conversation, I found my peace again and went to work outside.  One of the things I love most about myself is that although I am and can be very girly, I am never afraid to get dirty, break a nail, sweat, and not give a crap at all about how I look.

As I shoveled and raked, and trimmed a few weeds in the yard, I couldn't shake the beautiful feeling I had of joy.  I realized in that moment, while dumping rocks into the trash, that my life in this very moment, is more than incredible.  It's breathtaking and never the same, and I love it like that.

Sometimes I feel like I need to please everyone around me, when I know in reality that I can't because it's impossible.  Even with the ones I love, I know that I cannot always make them happy or please them all the time.  There will and have been moments when I've made them upset or disappointed even, and although I absolutely loathe that feeling, I know that it's normal.  I am me.  They are they.  And that's how it should be.

As I've gotten older and more mature (I hope at least), I've really learned that even when I "think" I have to be a certain way, the only thing that matters is staying true to who I am and loving who I am fully.  Those who know me and even if you read my posts from when I started my blog, know that I've always been a little insecure.  I'm still working on that and probably always will.  I know that every woman has insecurities and suffers from the harsh reality that insecurity provides.  I really, truly, used to hate all my flaws.  I would rack my brain with so many negative thoughts about myself, that I'd literally get sick.  Looking back now, nothing great came of that.  I suffered a lot from having low self-esteem and so did my relationships.  But now, even when I feel a little insecure, I know that I'm normal, for one, and that I don't have to live in my insecurities as well. 

I am truly grateful and blessed to know and feel the love of others and to give love back in return.  My best friend since the third grade will be visiting me in a month and a half, and we have not seen each other in six years.  I cannot wait for the moment when he steps off the plane and I get to finally hug him.  I also cannot wait for him to meet my man and have two of my favorite guys in the same place at once.

I know I'm big on love and I will always.  I used to hate that too, until I accepted all that I am and learned to embrace even the things I may not always love about myself.  When people can do that and not have to apologize for who they are (which I forget from time to time), life is even more amazing.

Life is beautiful, truly, and I wouldn't change anything at all.  I used to always think I had to fix or change myself, but now I'm just being the best me always, and being better to myself in my mind, body, and soul.

Sundays are always nice and peaceful and today was just that! 

But it is still a blessing!