The Wide Unknown
All of my life I've feared the unknown, a place I tried ever so desperately to figure out before I got there. But that is not how life works. That is not for me to know now or even then, because in all actuality, the unknown is every breath you take.
From the moment you wake up to the instant you fall asleep, the time in between and even after is unknown. You pray and hope for more of those moments, the waking up and falling asleep, and yet still feel unsatisfied with the in between. Why? It's a question I kept asking myself for years and though I may not really know the answer to it, I feel as though I've gotten closer to my own version.
The answer, in my heart at least, is this: I will never know all the answers to all my questions, but that is perfectly fine. I honestly just want to live my life without knowing, so that when the moments occur, the beautiful and the ugly, I will be present. Maybe it's because I'm getting older, although I know I am still considered to be young, that life has taken on a whole new meaning for me.
It's truly not about the past and who you were five, 10, 20 years ago. It's solely and completely about who you are RIGHT NOW. There is no sense in comparing yourself to that person you once were because if you're still the same person, then you haven't allowed yourself the space and time to grow. I feel lighter and calmer, and a whole lot more at peace these days because I wanted to feel that way.
I know with all my heart that my life is this great big story, filled with many chapters that are good, bad, sad, and ugly. But most of them are filled with happiness. I turn 28 in three months and it's weird to think that all that I am has been because of who I wanted to be.
I realized not really long ago, that I had the right and duty to choose how to live, and I decided that the way I wanted to live was to be peaceful in my mind and body, and kinder in my heart. I've had a lovely storybook life, filled with many adventures along the way, but the place I am in now, this feeling of contentment and joy, love and hope, it's better than anything I've ever felt before, and I am happy.
The unknown can be scary for so many people. I know that there are times when it scares me myself. But the beauty of the unknown is that you have control of how you live in the right now. Not knowing is allowing yourself the opportunity to truly live.
I'm so grateful and feel so blessed for all that I have. And I'm so content with where I am, who I'm with, and where I go. It is this understanding that truly soothes and comforts my soul; a feeling that completes my being.
From the moment you wake up to the instant you fall asleep, the time in between and even after is unknown. You pray and hope for more of those moments, the waking up and falling asleep, and yet still feel unsatisfied with the in between. Why? It's a question I kept asking myself for years and though I may not really know the answer to it, I feel as though I've gotten closer to my own version.
The answer, in my heart at least, is this: I will never know all the answers to all my questions, but that is perfectly fine. I honestly just want to live my life without knowing, so that when the moments occur, the beautiful and the ugly, I will be present. Maybe it's because I'm getting older, although I know I am still considered to be young, that life has taken on a whole new meaning for me.
It's truly not about the past and who you were five, 10, 20 years ago. It's solely and completely about who you are RIGHT NOW. There is no sense in comparing yourself to that person you once were because if you're still the same person, then you haven't allowed yourself the space and time to grow. I feel lighter and calmer, and a whole lot more at peace these days because I wanted to feel that way.
I know with all my heart that my life is this great big story, filled with many chapters that are good, bad, sad, and ugly. But most of them are filled with happiness. I turn 28 in three months and it's weird to think that all that I am has been because of who I wanted to be.
I realized not really long ago, that I had the right and duty to choose how to live, and I decided that the way I wanted to live was to be peaceful in my mind and body, and kinder in my heart. I've had a lovely storybook life, filled with many adventures along the way, but the place I am in now, this feeling of contentment and joy, love and hope, it's better than anything I've ever felt before, and I am happy.
The unknown can be scary for so many people. I know that there are times when it scares me myself. But the beauty of the unknown is that you have control of how you live in the right now. Not knowing is allowing yourself the opportunity to truly live.
I'm so grateful and feel so blessed for all that I have. And I'm so content with where I am, who I'm with, and where I go. It is this understanding that truly soothes and comforts my soul; a feeling that completes my being.
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