Through the Looking Glass…..
I stood in the doorway of my life and it flashed before me. I couldn't even recall the special moments I had created and been a part of. Scared, I asked myself aloud, "Why wasn't I there? Why wasn't I present?"
Alas the answer came to me and I knew then, that I had only one choice-to change my thoughts, or I could never change my world.
For 20 years I have been telling myself and anyone I can talk to, the same sad "woe-is-me" story, always playing the victim and never playing the hero of my own life. The sadness and pain, heartbreak and fear….blah, blah, blah. I told myself in that instant-the moment that I could see the impact my own thoughts not only have on me but on those I love so dearly, that if I didn't let shit go, I would never feel true happiness from within.
This isn't a story to make anyone feel sorry for me, especially and most importantly, not to feel sorry for my own self as well. This for all intents and purposes, is my awareness coming to fruition, telling me to wake the fuck up right now or else someday, I would be standing in the doorway of my life, and the nightmare I had would become my reality.
I've accepted that I need help to understand how to control my thoughts in a healthier way, so that I can be and not do or try. Also, admitting that I do need help and can't always tackle everything on my own, is not ego talking, but the being of who I am.
Am I so different from everyone else? Not really. The main difference of how I am, and not who I am, is the reaction I have to emotion and thought. Most people I know and admire, like my boyfriend and brother for instance, feel deeply and think daily as well. Not near as much as I do of course, but the key ingredient for them is knowing when to let things go, knowing when things need attention and to be handled, and knowing how to live through the natural flow of life.
I don't want to be like them or anyone else. But their wisdom and bravery through life does inspire me and show me that everything I think I cannot do, I most surely can.
Being aware means recognizing when your thoughts and emotions are getting in the way of living an authentic and peaceful life, and how those thoughts and emotions can wreak havoc on your life and those around you as well.
Am I afraid more than I should? Yes. Do I create bullshit stories in my head? Of course. But can I learn to change the way I think? Hell yeah!!
I am and will always be forever indebted to my guy, my mom, my brother, and my sister, for being the ones I turn to the most, and the ones I have vented to sometimes more than I should. But more than anything, I am thankful for their love and support throughout the years, and for knowing that I am more than what I think.
Today is right now, this one moment, at 9:34 pm on a Wednesday evening. To living more with intention, awareness, and confidence!
 |
| Via Pinterest |
For 20 years I have been telling myself and anyone I can talk to, the same sad "woe-is-me" story, always playing the victim and never playing the hero of my own life. The sadness and pain, heartbreak and fear….blah, blah, blah. I told myself in that instant-the moment that I could see the impact my own thoughts not only have on me but on those I love so dearly, that if I didn't let shit go, I would never feel true happiness from within.
This isn't a story to make anyone feel sorry for me, especially and most importantly, not to feel sorry for my own self as well. This for all intents and purposes, is my awareness coming to fruition, telling me to wake the fuck up right now or else someday, I would be standing in the doorway of my life, and the nightmare I had would become my reality.
I've accepted that I need help to understand how to control my thoughts in a healthier way, so that I can be and not do or try. Also, admitting that I do need help and can't always tackle everything on my own, is not ego talking, but the being of who I am.
 |
| Via Pinterest |
I don't want to be like them or anyone else. But their wisdom and bravery through life does inspire me and show me that everything I think I cannot do, I most surely can.
Being aware means recognizing when your thoughts and emotions are getting in the way of living an authentic and peaceful life, and how those thoughts and emotions can wreak havoc on your life and those around you as well.
Am I afraid more than I should? Yes. Do I create bullshit stories in my head? Of course. But can I learn to change the way I think? Hell yeah!!
I am and will always be forever indebted to my guy, my mom, my brother, and my sister, for being the ones I turn to the most, and the ones I have vented to sometimes more than I should. But more than anything, I am thankful for their love and support throughout the years, and for knowing that I am more than what I think.
Today is right now, this one moment, at 9:34 pm on a Wednesday evening. To living more with intention, awareness, and confidence!
 |
| Via Pinterest |
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